Kotaku called Final Fantasy XVI 'the best Final Fantasy in ages.' Square Enix lost $2 billion in market cap.

Let's run the variables. Final Fantasy XVI: released June 22, 2023. Kotaku verdict: 'the best Final Fantasy in ages.' Square Enix stock price: down 13% in the quarters following launch. Operating loss in the HD Games segment: $51.6 million. Square Enix president's public assessment by May 2024: 'underperformed profit expectations.' Kotaku review score: none. Zero. Because there isn't one. The math ain't mathing.

The no-score format is the most interesting data point in this review. 'A bold shift to action' has no numerical commitment attached to it. 'Best in ages' cannot be screenshotted and compared to a quarterly earnings call eighteen months later. Kotaku's scoreless format is framed as a principled stance against reductive quantification — what it actually produces is an opinion that is structurally immune to accountability. Great system for the writer. Somewhat less great for the reader who bought a $70 game based on it.

For the record, here is what 'the best Final Fantasy in ages' contains: no turn-based combat, no party management, no class system, a loot economy described in the review itself as 'undercooked,' and a narrative so focused on one protagonist that 'Final Fantasy' is doing load-bearing work for a game that dismantled most of the things 'Final Fantasy' means. The reviewer praised this architectural demolition as 'a natural evolution that's been a long time coming.' Square Enix's board of directors used different language. So did their stock price.

Two entities evaluated the same product: Kotaku said best in years, Square Enix reported losses. One of them had $51.6 million on the line. The other had a Substack. The math ain't mathing.