GameSpot gave Five Nights at Freddy's Movie a 2/10 and called it a review
The Original Review
“The whole thing is basically a remix of the current Five Nights at Freddy's big picture, borrowing elements from different places and using them somewhat differently, or very differently in some cases.”
This review is built like a joke math problem: two paragraphs of atmosphere, three paragraphs of adjectives, and one dramatic confession that the ending feels random. If you're grading criticism, that's not analysis; that's a pirate map with no island, only arrows. It starts by admitting lore sprawl was an issue, then treats that as if it were a verdict, like judging a fire alarm by how loud the test beep sounds and calling it fire.
The best evidence in the piece is technical: the film is fun in chunks and the animatronics are mostly good. Great. Then the reviewer tries to upgrade that into a verdict by piling on terms like remix, plot points, and lore sprawl. That's the spreadsheet of vibes 101: column A equals "good moments," column B equals "not enough explanation," and the average is done by vibes per square inch. The math ain’t mathing, because no one in this piece bothers to ask what the thing is *actually arguing*.
A lot of this reads like a checklist review: "PG-13 because of audience" then "I have to explain the whole movie as a big picture problem." It’s like reviewing a bridge by admiring the railing paint job and declaring the structural engineer irrelevant. If the story needed fewer plot points, say that with evidence. Instead we get the equivalent of a calculator with no batteries: loud keys, zero calculation. Same with this piece on franchise fatigue.
And yes, the reviewer eventually says the ending feels random, which is the one honest sentence in the article. But after pointing out the core failure, it just nods and moves on. As a roast target, this is a classic lazy critic move: diagnose symptom, skip treatment, and call it criticism. We give this review a 2/10. Good review bones, bad review brain, and a scorecard made of glitter and empty equations.
